The easiest boundary to define is the property line. Most people have seen a no trespassing sign posted on private property at one time or another. This sign sends a clear message, “if you cross the line you will be prosecuted!” This type of boundary is easy to picture and understand because it’s tangible; you can actually see and touch the sign. On the other hand personal boundaries are harder to define because the lines are invisible; they can change and are unique to each individual.
Personal boundaries are limits or borders that define where you end and others begin. Your personal boundary is defined by the amount of physical and emotional space you allow between yourself and others. Personal boundaries also help you decide what types of communication, behavior and interaction you accept from others. The type of boundaries you set defines whether you have healthy or unhealthy relationships.
Different Types of Boundaries
The two main types of boundaries are physical and emotional.
Your physical boundaries need to be strong in order to protect you from harm. For example, if you have a deep wound and it goes untreated you expose yourself to infection which can result in serious, life threatening consequences; therefore protecting your boundaries is essential for optimal health.
Physical boundaries include your body, your sense of personal space, sexual orientation and privacy. Other physical boundaries involve clothes, shelter, safety, money, space, noise, etc.
One example of setting a physical boundary is when someone approaches you to discuss an issue and they get too close. Your immediate and automatic reaction will be to take a step back in order to reset your personal space. By doing this you send a non-verbal message to the person that when they stand so close you feel an invasion of your personal space. If the person continues to move closer your next step might be to verbally protect your boundary by telling him/her to stop crowding you. Again you are protecting your personal space by setting your boundary.
Additional examples of physical boundary invasions are:
•Standing too close to others and invading their personal space.
•Inappropriate touching such as making unwanted sexual advances.
•Looking through others personal files, letters, documents, etc.
•Not allowing others their personal space. An example would be barging into your boss’s office without knocking.
Emotional and intellectual boundaries are just as important. They protect your sense of self-esteem, and your ability to separate your feelings from the feelings of others. When you have weak emotional boundaries it’s like getting caught in the midst of a hurricane with no protection. You expose yourself to being greatly affected by others feelings and can end up feeling bruised, wounded and battered.
They also include beliefs, behaviors, choices, relationships, responsibilities, and your ability to be intimate with others.
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