Social media course: terms & conditions

as an official student in this social media course, you may be asked to establish and use one or more social media accounts of your choice with the exclusion of any platform deemed "uncool" or "damaging to offline reputations." you agree to always represent your true self on any form of social media. exceptions will be made for accounts established in your pet's likeness, providing your pet is either (a) a dog, (b) a cat, or (c) a chinchilla. establishing accounts for (d) birds, (e) hamsters, (f) reptiles, or (g) any other living creature you happen to call a pet will be subject to verification and approval on a case-by-case basis. decisions will be made at the discretion of the "powers that be."

keep in mind that by clicking "agree" below, you will be subject to the following additional scrutiny at our discretion:

1. your enrollment in this social media course will be subject to review at any time if:
a. four of your five last social media posts contain misspellings
b. nine of your last 20 social media posts contain an unnecessary amount of tags
c. if any of your updates in the last month uses an annoying capitalization structure (example)
d. if you post more than 17 times per day about activities including but not limited to bathing, eating, sleeping, napping, snoozing, lounging, and/or sneezing
e. you are a business or organization selling whatcha-ma-call-its
2. your enrollment will continue in good standing without further scrutiny if: ( note: this section supersedes section 1 except where otherwise indicated)
a. you are a student in good standing (unless you meet the criteria for section 1c or 1e)
b. you have an exceptional sense of humor
c. you keep in good contact with your instructor
d. you sometimes slack off about keeping in contact with your instructor (unless you meet the criteria for section 1a, 1c, or 1d)
e. you are a business or organization that does not meet the criteria for 1e
3. notes:
a. sections 1a and 1b do not apply to satire or news articles from semi-reliable and reliable sources.
b. scrutiny may be administered at any time, regardless of the terms set forth in the above conditions.
note: by checking "i agree," you are confirming that you have pretended to read the terms and agree to be forever bound and chained by the following conditions above. it might be kind of ridiculous for us to expect you to read an entire page of incomprehensible legalese. but it's even more ridiculous that we expect you to understand it, despite the fact that you probably haven't completed high school yet, and that this document could possibly subject you to scrutiny at some time in the near future. that being said, you're pretty sure it won't because you believe yourself to be a reasonable person that would never break any terms set out in any conditions, and even if you did, you're also pretty sure we wouldn't even notice. so just check the box, because it would be a waste to turn back now, right? (1 point)

i disagree

i agree