It sounded old. deserve. old and tired and beaten to death. deserve. now it seemed to him that he was always saying or thinking that he didn’t deserve some bad luck, or some bad treatment from others. he’d told guitar that he didn’t "deserve" his family’s dependence, hatred, or whatever. that he didn’t even "deserve" to hear all the misery and mutual accusations his parents unloaded on him. nor did he "deserve" hagar’s vengeance. but why shouldn’t his parents tell him their personal problems? if not him, then who? and if a stranger could try to kill him, surely hagar, who knew him and whom he’d thrown away like a wad of chewing gum after the flavor was gone—she had a right to try to kill him too.