Health, 09.03.2021 14:00 cantrelate
Overcoming my challenge - my obsession with my body
Everyday social media puts on this act making everything seem so real, mostly it isnât. I feel like I was always a confident person, I didnât care what I looked like. I was happy with myself in every single way. I donât remember what clicked but I just felt less like I didnât have it anymore. I couldnât stop staring in the mirror thinking why does my body look this way. I couldnât go a day without wondering the ways I could get thinner. I tried working out, starving myself, saying âI already ateâ, throwing everything I ate right back up, but none of it worked.
If anything I have never been more hungry. I tried and tried but I got this feeling where I knew everything I tried was wrong but I thought it was working. I was on an empty stomach most days, the others I donât remember eating anything but drinking energy drinks, coffee, or caffeine.
I eventually started to realise I was exhausted, if I did eat my stomach would get so upset I actually didnât even need to make myself throw up. It wasnât a good feeling but I felt like I was getting my body to the place I felt like it needed to be in. I kept seeing all the girls always talking about body empowerment like âfuel your bodyâ, âalways be youâ âlove your bodyâ, âlove you for youâ, âyouâre beautiful just the way you areâ. Those are the same girls that if they eat one thing they donât feel like they need to go run 4 miles.
I wish I really wish I knew then that you wouldnât always be happy. Not everything is always going to be perfect, especially not your body. Eventually I hit a really hard reality check, not everyone hits their when they think but mine. Mine was after three months of self-loathing, self-deprecation, disparaging myself. I got the one thing that kept me sane before it was softball, it's not everyoneâs reality check but it put me back into a place where I enjoyed the little things that I forgot about before. If I didnât get it back I donât think I would have snapped back so fast. I am so glad Iâm back where I donât shame myself in everything I wear, or I donât think I have to walk out the house without looking like Iâm going to Fashion Week in Paris. Everyone is different, reality checks are different, but most of all Iâm different and Iâm happy. One thing happening to me doesnât change me, I know that things can get bad but you and you only can decide your change that's what matters nothing else tops what you think of yourself. This is how I overcame my challenge, how I see it, its mind over matter.
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Overcoming my challenge - my obsession with my body
Everyday social media puts on this act making e...
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