"yes, i am making them wretched," he thought. "they are sorry, but it will be better for them when i die." he wished to say this but had not the strength to utter it. "besides, why speak? i must act," he thought. with a look at his wife he indicated his son and said: "take him for for you " he tried to add, "forgive me," but said "forego" and waved his hand, knowing that he whose understanding mattered would understand. and suddenly it grew clear to him that what had been oppressing him and would not leave him was all dropping away at once from two sides, from ten sides, and from all sides. he was sorry for them, he must act so as not to hurt them: release them and free himself from these sufferings. "how good and how simple! " he thought. "and the pain? " he asked himself. "what has become of it? where are you, pain? " he turned his attention to it. "yes, here it is. well, what of it? let the pain be." "and is it? " he sought his former accustomed fear of death and did not find it. "where is it? what death? " there was no fear because there was no death. in place of death there was light. nextreset