As one of the "third culture kids," she feels both rootless and worldly Annotate and Respond to the text.
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"No, but where are you really from?" The question makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. Like many "third culture kids," or (TCKs), I panic. I wonder if the question is asking for my nationality, where I was born, where I am living now or where my parents live.
The term was used for the first time by American social scientist Ruth Hill Useem. TCKs are children who have spent much of their early lives outside of their parents' culture. They tend to mix their parents' culture with a new one, creating their own third culture.
Depending on the person and situation, I'll have different answers to that dreaded question. Like many other TCKs, I'll change my story as I go and not say the whole truth. Sometimes I'll go for the quick I'm from Finland, a country in Europe, and Senegal, a country in Africa. Other times I'll tell the whole story. I'll say that I was born in Helsinki, in Finland, moved to Luxembourg, then to Brussels, in Belgium, and finally to London, England. Or I might say that my mom is from Finland and my dad is from Senegal, but I feel like my home is in the U. K. now.
Each time I get the question, I feel as if I need to explain myself or prove where I'm from. I'll often find myself leaving out parts of my story. I do this to fit what other people expect to hear.
Who Is The Real Me?
Living like this can sometimes feel liberating. I feel as though I'm wearing different masks. I am constantly able to reinvent myself. But this also presents a problem. Who am I really? Which of these masks is the true me? Where do I belong? In my case, these questions are even harder to answer. I'm biracial. I was born in Finland, but I don't look like most Finnish people. At the same time, I've never lived in Senegal, so I feel strange saying I'm from there. I don't feel very Finnish either since I've lived in another country for most of my life. Both Finland and Senegal are countries where I have family and are places I visit every few years. I still miss these places, but when I'm actually there I feel out of place, like an outsider.
So where is home? Home is a place where you truly belong, but like many other TCKs, I never quite feel at home anywhere. I am a strange mix, and sometimes I feel like I'll never find that one place where I belong 100 percent. I just feel lucky to have experienced so many cultures.
Sometimes I wonder what life would have been like if I had grown up in one place. I wonder what it would be like to have a friend who's known me since I was little. I often feel like a tourist in a country that I'm supposed to call my own.
Sometimes I don't like that I have to give complicated answers to what sound like simple questions. At other times it doesn't bother me at all. I watch my nieces and nephews growing up among many cultures. I cannot help but feel proud. What an amazing opportunity, to speak many languages and see so many countries.
Here Or There?
Being rootless has given me a sense of freedom. I feel grateful for the experiences I've had, and I am proud to feel like a citizen of the world. I feel at home anywhere, yet my home is nowhere.
I love being able to choose who I want to be wherever I go. My many masks are part of who I am. I've slowly built myself up as a collection of pieces, and I could handpick the best ones. Being rootless doesn't mean I don't belong to any one place, it means I choose to belong to many.