How does adding a direct quote affect the tone and credibility of your argument in an analytical research report?

Can you correct this paragraph? a football player once had a dream. the dream was about the queen of england. she was on a boat and was fishing. when she tried to put a worm on the fishing hook, her necklace fell into the water. a train conductor named maxwell threw popcorn in the water. the fish ate the popcorn then gave the queen her necklace. the queen said, ” you all for me get my necklace back! ” “you are welcome said the conductor and all the fish.