Read the two introductory paragraphs representing a first draft and a revision of a narrative about making a difficult choice. First Draft: Last week, I won two tickets to see the hottest band in the country perform. I will never forget the anticipation I felt waiting to find out if I was the lucky caller. The only problem was that I would have to choose who to go with me: Jackie or Sharon.

Revision: Last week, I won two tickets to see the hottest band in the country perform. I was on pins and needles as I hung on the line, dying to see if I was the lucky caller. The only problem was that I would be forced to make a choice between my two best friends. Should I invite Jackie or Sharon?

What types of descriptive language strengthen the revision?

hyperbole and figurative language
sensory details and precise adjectives
simile and figurative language
metaphor and strong verbs