In "and oh—that the man i am might cease to be—" by d. h. lawrence, what is the emotional state of the speaker?

The speaker in the poem seems to be intensely weary of life, so much so that he does not care to analyze his feelings or express his dissatisfaction with any specific aspect of life. His depression is so strong that not even death will help him overcome this feeling. Instead, he seeks an all-enveloping darkness that signifies the end of the universe itself. The following lines reflect his extreme depression:

I wish that whatever props up the walls of light

would fall, and darkness would come hurling heavily down,

and it would be thick black dark for ever.

Not sleep, which is grey with dreams,

nor death, which quivers with birth,

but heavy, sealing darkness, silence, all immovable.

Explanation:

edmentum

i've read it so how can i ?