Can someone revise my poem for word choice and rhyme patterns? i feel like my rhymes aren't really good, and i would like some in correcting them.
even when the teasing vines
force me, submerge me in the adhesive oil,
she's there to lead the way,
her golden scruff as bright as foil,
the path, narrow and taunting, is unfrightening
as long as her leaning head maintains my balance.
what will i ever do as the tangled hair grows light,
as her gentle cranium becomes lifeless, lowered, long;
i wish to never visualize that future, and hopeful i never will, for if it is reality, i could not tread through the ghostly forest any longer, the ghosts shall devour my shriveled songs.