4 Correct the mistakes in the word order and punctuation in the following sample essay.
"Rich and famous people are increasingly adopting children from developing countries. This
has overwhelmingly negative effects." Do you agree with this statement? Why?
Adoption has long been a common thing yet there a recent trend has been in adopting
children from overseas. This trend has been noted in the media as more and more
celebrities have adopted children from other countries. Some people think this is a
negative thing, but I think that on the whole the effects positive of this outweigh any
negative repercussions as I shall go on to show.
Firstly, adopting from other countries raises the awareness of a countrys plight. Seeing
famous people adopting children from countries like cambodia means that cambodia is in
the news more and people can find out what there is going on. Also, these children move
to richer countries and can tell people about their native country raising awareness on a
smaller scale.
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Secondly, these children may well not be adopted unless people come from overseas to do
it. A happy life in another country is surely better than an unhappy life in the country where
a person was born. The new country will give more opportunity the child and a family that
they may not get if they were to stay in the orphanage
However for the children to retain their culture it is important. There is a danger that this
might not happen if they move to another country. Therefore there should be a rule that
the adoptive parents allow the child to revisit their home country and retain their original
culture.
In conclusion, I think the personal adoption benefits gives a child and the awareness that
can be raised from these adoptions far outweighs any negative factors, such as change of
culture.