Hi I'm writing a book and I would like your opinion on it. The first chapter is up on Reddit and I'm continuing it there too, I also reworded a few of the sentences their. My username is "u/TAwrites10" The version is down below. “Gale! Is Gale here today students?” I ran into class, the rain was pouring and I was drenched. Every speckle was so very small, delicate, and clear. I always admired the rain, to me it was a sign but I had not known of what. I sat down on my chair, as the floors got wet and I left a trail of water behind me. I did not realize that I had made the floors wet and that my jacket was cold and saturated. As I take my jacket off and put it in the cubby’s that were placed by Arnold Peter, he gives me a gaze, then grabs me by the collar of my jacket that I had already taken half off and slams me to the floor.
I looked up to see his face and then I met his eyes, they looked cold and pitiful. “Gale! How dare you come to my class late and then pick a fight. You have the nerve.” It was Mrs. Walter, she sent me to the principal's office and told me to see her during lunch to mop the wet floor. The principal threatened me with his offer of calling my parents, I didn’t know what to say to him, so I just stood there blank. He then called me a disgrace and told me to be ashamed of myself.
During lunch I sit alone and the other kids giggle away, I even hear them talk about me. I didn’t have anything to eat and my parents didn’t pay for my lunch. I guess I didn’t mind starving, I was already used to these things and it has always been like this for the past 15 years of my life. I am interrupted from my daydreaming when Mrs. Walter takes me to her class and I start mopping the wet floor. She told me that I needed to fix my attitude and how my grades were suffering. It wasn’t even my fault that the other kids liked to tease me. But then again, I was used to it. As the wet floors got dry, I noticed something.
The water looked like it was shining, every speckle, glimmered. The lunch bell rings and I rush to my next class, I was hungry and wet from the morning rain so I didn’t care much about the fascination the water brought to me. The last bell rings and I run home. The rain poured but I found comfort in it. I looked down at the bakery that was owned by Emma Walterson, my neighbor.
She is a 45 year old woman who always cared about me and asked questions. Sometimes she even took me to her house and let me play in her sons consoles. I don’t think he liked me that much. I don’t look where I am going and get lost in my thoughts. Suddenly, the rain pours harder.
Kids were running as their parents pulled up an umbrella. Some had friends that shared their umbrellas with them. Some didn’t have one but they enjoyed the company they got from their friends. Then in a flash there was no one there. I guess they had all rushed home and I was just standing there.
I started to run, faster and faster but it was like time had frozen. I look around to see the rain, it wasn’t falling the trees in the distant were put, not moving. As I turn my head around trying to understand what was happening, the ground starts to shake. I tried pinching myself thinking I was having a bad dream. It wasn’t a dream. Three oddly looking shapes appear in front of me. About 6 feet tall, rectangular and lustrous, it wasn’t alive and it wasn’t moving. It was an object and as I looked closer each of them had a symbol.
The first symbol was a droplet of water. The second was a swirl, like the wind. And the third was a hand that held up a flower. I touch each symbol. The first symbol felt like real water as if I was standing there feeling water with my hands.
The second symbol, the snowflake felt like it was ice which was no surprise. The third symbol, I couldn’t feel. It was just the atmosphere. I then have a urge to fall into a slumber. I stumbled upon and lay down on to the ground. My long skyy black hair fell in front of my eyes and my skin became pale. My bright blue eyes closed.
That moment I was alone, tried, and starving. No one was there to help me, to carry me, to give me a hand, to lend a shoulder that I could lean on. I was alone, scared, and I didn’t know where I was and what was happening to me. I wished for a new start to my so-called life.