Choose an article from the Onion, theonion. com about which to write an analysis essay. Use at least two of the satirical rhetorical strategies you have learned. Don’t forget to follow the basic essay format for an analysis essay. Remember to cite your source and your article! As you write, remember that essays will be graded with a six-point rubric based on the AP* nine-point scale. High-scoring essays will demonstrate that the writer considered the prompt carefully and responded to it insightfully with strong supporting evidence. These essays will also exhibit stylistic sophistication, including purposeful organization, precise diction, and engaging syntax. Whether or not the essay is timed, conforming to the conventions of standard American English is expected. You may use any of the tools available to you, such the Checklist, Spellchecker, or Graphic Organizer.

english novelist and poet, the eldest of the three brontë sisters who survived into adulthood and whose novels became classics of english literature.

she enlisted in school at roe head in january 1831, aged 14 years. she left the year after to teach her sisters, emily and anne, at home, returning in 1835 as a governess. in 1839 she undertook the role as governess for the sidgwick family, but left after a few months to return to haworth where the sisters opened a school, but failed to attract pupils. instead they turned to writing and they each first published in 1846 under the pseudonyms of currer, ellis and acton bell. her first novel the professor was rejected by publishers, her second novel jane eyre was published in 1847. the sisters admitted to their bell pseudonyms in 1848, and by the following year were celebrated in london literary circles.

brontë experienced the early deaths of all her siblings. she became pregnant shortly after her marriage in june 1854 but died on 31 march 1855, almost certainly from hyperemesis gravidarum, a complication of pregnancy which causes excessive nausea and vomiting.

explanation:

  one day samantha and her brother carson was walking in a path then samantha's brother carson almost stepped on something on the ground "carson, stop! " she shouted "huh, why? " he stopped "beacause, this" she says picking this mysterious object off of the ground it looked like a smart watch but there was another under it, one of them was gold one was silver. "woah, smart watches! " carson said "yeah, woah, you want gold or silver? " sam said "ummm, i'll take silver" carson smiled

  when they put it on it started to glow but no one was around, wafter 30 seconds of waiting a small silver dragon   came to carson, about the same time a golden lion came to samantha. "carson you need to get us some where safe so all of us can talk." the dragon said in his squeaky voice "by the way im silvester"   he said "we need to also samantha, im goldy." she said in her sqeaky voice.

  samantha and carson were suprised, scared and happy at the same time, so they took the little animals to their shed that nobody but them go into. "so where did you guys come from? " samantha said as they all sat down, "goldy and i, came from a far away land called zelda 101," silvester said "we are partners looking to find two human partners and you two are the perfect type, we could all be a team in zelda 101 and many other places that need certant things." goldy said "would you be willing? " silvester said

  "most definetly! " they both yelled "shh" silvester and goldy shouted. "ohh sorry" samantha and carson said.

it should be

hard work gives a person a sense of satisfaction; likewise, it to pay the bills.

so the punctuation is not correct.