OPINION ESSAY ABOUT SHARKS Can anyone please revise and proofread this opinion essay about great white sharks for my brother who is in the fifth grade?

His essay is great but try adding another paragraph. Essays are usually 4-5 paragraphs with 4-6 sentences in each paragraph. His hook/ introduction was amazing and made me want to keep reading but, in his thesis he put "i think the great white sharks blah blah blah" when he should have put another fact about the great white shark, like what they eat. He should also add a quote or two. By a quote I mean he has to put the name of the article he found the information in.

Hope this helped!!

Um Is it Okay If he uses this essay Below

Explanation:

The great white shark is found in all major oceans around the world and is also known as the great white or white death. The great white shark belongs to the species of shark and are widely distributed all over the globe. The taxonomic name for white shark is  Linnaeus. White sharks are famous for their massive size and voracious eating habits. A mature male white shark could grow up to 6.5m in length. Researches have published work stating that great white sharks grow up to 8m long I will post the other part in the comments

the conclusion would be the most affected category scoring

its definitely second person : )

explanation: