Which revision improves the professional tone of the text?
Read the excerpt from a report.
(1) Cleaning up the existing garbage in the ocean
would begin to address the issue of climate change. (2)
A company called the Ocean Cleanup Project has
successfully developed a self-contained system that
collects ocean garbage. (3) It uses the natural forces of
the ocean to dump floating plastic. (4) The system
consists of a thing, which holds a ten-foot screen below
and catches the waste. (5) It would be awesome to
have a bunch of these systems removing garbage.
O Change sentence 1 to: "Cleaning up garbage in the
ocean would be way better for the environment."
O Change sentence 2 to: "A company called the
Ocean Cleanup Project has cleaned up a ton of
ocean garbage."
O Change sentence 4 to: "The system consists of a
big screen below it that catches the stuff."
Change sentence 5 to: "Implementing several of
these systems could remove garbage from the
oceans."