Can someone PLEEAASE read over my essay and correct me if anything is wrong??? (This is worth 30 of my points so please answer if you will ACTUALLY help me)

Explanation:

Page 1:

Try not to use got. So instead of "got selected" use "was selected."

I've read "The Giver" so I know the story, and who Gabriel is, but your reader may not, you don't explain on page 1, and you should.

Page 2:

Lower case "eleven"

Also, "stirrings" aren't the same as being released, or a reason to be released. There is a disconnect there.

Also, it would be nurturer of the baby. You're missing an r.

Page 4:

The baby could not choose between being released or not.

Page 5:

Don't start a sentence with "And"  you've done it twice.

You're missing the end, it's cut off. I don't know your grade, but good work.

i would just say something like,

i need to go outside owner to pee, hold on owner let me mark this tree. i'm thirsty now "starts drinking water" now i am tired. what are you eating owner can i have some, you can't refuse my cute puppy eyes.

just make sure you write that in your own words that way you don't get in trouble.