What is this bug called? LOL k

Seems like a beetle of some sort to me!

Explanation:

A beetle is a beetle(:

Common furniture beetles, or Woodworms, Anobium punctatum.

Explanation:

The common furniture beetle or common house borer is a woodboring beetle. In the larval stage it bores in wood and feeds upon it. Adult Anobium punctatum measure 2.7–4.5 millimetres in length. They have brown ellipsoidal bodies with a prothorax resembling a monk's cowl

1: most common garden plants prefer loam — soils with a balance of different-sized mineral particles (approximately 40% sand, 40% silt, and 20% clay) with ample organic matter and pore space. however, some plants grow better in sandy soils, while others are well-adapted to clay soils.

2: available water capacity is the maximum amount of plant available water a soil can provide. it is an indicator of a soil's ability to retain water and make it sufficiently available for plant use. available water capacity is the water held in soil between its field capacity and permanent wilting point.

3: it is the same for all living things (plants and animals). it also includes very tiny organisms that our eyes cannot see. they are known as microorganisms, and include viruses, bacteria and fungi.

what in the weirdo : o