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Are children who act in rated ‘r’ movies allowed to see them? are eyebrows considered facial hair? at a movie theater which arm rest is yours? can a short person “talk down” to a taller person? can animals commit suicide? can you daydream at night? do bald people get dandruff? do coffins have lifetime guarantees? do dentists go to other dentists or do they just do it themselves? do prison buses have emergency exits? do sheep get static cling when they rub against one another? do stairs go up or down? do stuttering people stutter when they’re thinking to themselves? do they bury people with their braces on? do they have the word “dictionary” in the dictionary? do you yawn in your sleep? do your eyes change color when you die? how can something be “new” and “improved”? if it’s new, what was it improving on? how come only your fingers and toes get wrinkly in the shower and nothing else does? how come you never see a billboard being put up by the highway? how do you handcuff a one-armed man? how far east can you

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